Legends of the Ferengi
Rating: Series: Deep Space 9
Author: Quark, as told to Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe
Published: August, 1997
Review by: CL6 Kali D’or
Found this one in a used book store and couldn’t help myself. The premise of the book is that Quark tells stories based on the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. It is done totally tongue-in-cheek and is a great laugh of a book. I have yet to read the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition which Quark wrote some time ago, but it has to be as good as this one.
All 285 Rules are not included, the book would be too long and cumbersome, but Quark has taken some of his favorites and explained the who and how and why they came into being through tale tales, old stories, family fables, lies and other devious means to get his/their point across.
Rule #31: “Never insult a Ferengi’s mother….insult something he cares about instead.” A good insult is a thing of beauty, a work of art that endures long after it’s crafting. Not bad, and the attached list of the 10 Most Famous Insults in Ferengi history are a hoot.
Rule #104: “Faith moves mountains…of inventory.” This has a clever little folk tale attached, about one of the really old guys, Grand Nagus Gint, who died of a tooth sharpening accident. But a clever Ferengi, Yost, came up with a plan to liven up the mourning citizenry with figurines of the Nagus and marketing was born.
Rule #177: “Know your enemies….but do business with them always.” Another short little ditty about the Tholians, silk, bog moss and how things really work. According to Quark.
Rule #94: “Females and finances don’t mix.” Funny picture, reputed to be an old cave drawing, showing a female Ferengi with bags of “profit” while all around her, the men are dead. This stuff is just too funny.
This is not a big book – just a small paperbound one, only 157 pages long. It’s the kind of book you might keep in the bathroom, for a quick page or two every day? Or next to your computer – read a rule while something downloads. It’s up to you. I found the writing to be very clever, totally in keeping with the character. There are pictures of all our favorite Ferengi cast members, and their “victims” to entertain as well. And references into the history and culture of the Ferengi that we didn’t know before, and may well not really have wanted to find out. Thank you for sharing, Quark!