DS9 Stories/News: Legends of the Ferengi Review

Legends of the Ferengi

Rating: Legends of the Ferengi by Quark, as told to Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe, A Star Trek novel has been rated 4/5 by this<br />
reviewer.” border=”0″ /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style= Series: Deep Space 9
Author: Quark, as told to Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe
Published: August, 1997
Review by: CL6 Kali D’or

Found this one in a used book store and couldn’t help myself. The premise of the book is that Quark tells stories based on the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. It is done totally tongue-in-cheek and is a great laugh of a book. I have yet to read the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition which Quark wrote some time ago, but it has to be as good as this one.

..

All 285 Rules are not included, the book would be too long and cumbersome, but Quark has taken some of his favorites and explained the who and how and why they came into being through tale tales, old stories, family fables, lies and other devious means to get his/their point across.

Some examples:

Rule #31: “Never insult a Ferengi’s mother….insult something he cares about instead.” A good insult is a thing of beauty, a work of art that endures long after it’s crafting. Not bad, and the attached list of the 10 Most Famous Insults in Ferengi history are a hoot.

Rule #104: “Faith moves mountains…of inventory.” This has a clever little folk tale attached, about one of the really old guys, Grand Nagus Gint, who died of a tooth sharpening accident. But a clever Ferengi, Yost, came up with a plan to liven up the mourning citizenry with figurines of the Nagus and marketing was born.

Rule #177: “Know your enemies….but do business with them always.” Another short little ditty about the Tholians, silk, bog moss and how things really work. According to Quark.

Rule #94: “Females and finances don’t mix.” Funny picture, reputed to be an old cave drawing, showing a female Ferengi with bags of “profit” while all around her, the men are dead. This stuff is just too funny.

This is not a big book – just a small paperbound one, only 157 pages long. It’s the kind of book you might keep in the bathroom, for a quick page or two every day? Or next to your computer – read a rule while something downloads. It’s up to you. I found the writing to be very clever, totally in keeping with the character. There are pictures of all our favorite Ferengi cast members, and their “victims” to entertain as well. And references into the history and culture of the Ferengi that we didn’t know before, and may well not really have wanted to find out. Thank you for sharing, Quark!

 

DS9 Stories/News: Reason #20 Why I Love DS9 – Our Man Bashir

Source: http://www.xplosionofawesome.com/2011/01/20-our-man-bashir.html

There are many reasons why I love Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and why it remains my favorite of the Star Trek franchise.

Reason #20: “Our Man Bashir”

Unlike Star Trek: The Next Generation who seemed to have a couple “something goes wrong on the Holodeck” episodes every season, for the most part DS9 characters stayed out of the Holodecks, at least while on-camera. “Our Man Bashir” is one of the only episodes of the series built around the Holodeck, and as a longtime James Bond fan it remains one of my favorites.

The episode begins with Garak (Andrew Robinson) interrupting Dr. Julian Bashir’s (Alexander Siddig) new Holoprogram where he plays a British spy during the height of the Cold War. Things get serious why a transporter accident stores the patterns of several crew members inside the Holodeck (transfomring them into characters in the program) forcing Bashir and Garak to play out the scenario.

Avery Brooks is terrific hamming it up as the typical Bond villain, Nana Visitor has all kinds of fun as Russian spy Col. Anastasia Komananov (complete with bad Russian accent), and Terry Farrell has a terrific moment as the mousy Dr. Honey Bare finding her sexuality thanks to our hero just in time to help him save the day – by destroying the world!

Great fun all around, especially for fans of Bond. And for fans of the show this is another episode further cementing one of my favorite relationships, that of Bashir and Garak.

DS9 Stories/News: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – Crossroads of Time (Genesis/Mega Drive) (1)

When I found out that this was actually released for real I had to check it out. A Star Trek platformer? Seriously?

Apparently the lead designer wrote a Star Trek fan film, so I expect this is going to be fairly faithful to the franchise. The music sounds like the actual Deep Space Nine theme, and that looks like the right space station, so it’s doing well so far.

Some Trek games (like Starfleet Academy and Elite Force for example) put the player in the shoes of Lieutenant Bland, chiselled generic space hero, who gets to go on an adventure alongside everyone’s favourite heroes from the show.

But fuck that, I’m Commander Benjamin Sisko himself, and this is my office.

Dammit Odd, how many times have I told you not to call here and interrupt my kung fu? Odo, whatever.

Eventually I realise he’s not going to stop calling me, so I should probably go find ‘security’ and hear what he has to say. First step: leave office.

These graphics aren’t actually that bad at all, and Sisko moves fairly… gracefully. Okay, the faces are a little weird, but that’s what happens when you go for realism at this kind of resolution.

The music on the other hand, is nothing like the soundtrack to the series. For one thing it’s catchy and tuneful. Exactly what I want to be listening to when I’m playing my ridiculous Star Trek platformer. Okay, now where the hell is the way out of this place?

Damn, you can really tell these two are related.

This corridors looks like it’s supposed to be in a complete loop, but sadly it doesn’t wrap around at the edges. Nice parallax scrolling though.

Okay, I’m just going to watch him do this for a second or two. There’s nothing even up there, it’s entirely pointless.

Right, what was I doing again? Oh yeah, I’m looking for ‘security’.

A docking pylon you say? I think I passed the door to that on the way here.

Uhuh. So… what now? He mentioned that Doctor Bashir was treating the technician so I suppose I should go find him.

Right, now that’s done I can go start the first level.

Doctor Bashir didn’t give me any clues about what I’m supposed to be doing now, so I suppose I’ll have to go talking to people until one of them gives me the next part of the plot.

LATER.

http://superadventuresingaming.blogspot.com/2011/12/star-trek-deep-space-nine-crossroads-of.html

DS9 Stories/News: Goodbyes

Source: http://deflipside.com/?page_id=1693

by Christopher DeFilippis

DeFlip Side, Vol. 1, No. 6
(First Appeared: June/July, 1999;
First Light E-zine, Issue #82)

This is going to be short and sweet, folks. My original plan for this month’s column was to bid a fond farewell to Deep Space Nine, until recently the best show on television. I was going to do an in-depth review of the final episode, exploring whether or not it brought the Dominion war arc to a satisfying conclusion, as well as if it proved a fitting send-off to the best Trek series ever; my swan song to the swan song, so to speak. But those ne’er do-wells at Paramount took the wind out of my sails. After watching the finale, I came to only one inescapable conclusion: It’s not over.

After all, Sisko left his baseball behind.

Of course, there’s also the question of his unborn child, his career in Starfleet, a new Defiant that needs to be broken in, an unfinished real estate transaction on Bajor and his promise that he would return “in a year from now or yesterday.” But the baseball is the cincher. He doesn’t leave home without it, much less take up permanent residence in Prophet limbo. We haven’t heard the last from him or the rest of these characters. I don’t know when or in what format, but we’ll see them again. Bet on it.

This fact colors my opinion of the two-hour series finale. As a final good-bye, it would have left too many loose ends. But as a “so long for now” it was perfect. It brought enough closure to satisfy, but egged us on just enough to keep our expectations for a return simmering on a low frame somewhere in the back of our brains. Like Kira and Jake, we’re all gazing out of a portal on the Promenade, waiting patiently to see what happens next.

I’ll spare you all a long-winded essay on what I liked and why. Different parts of the finale will have appealed to different people for different reasons. But there is no call for excess exposition. After all, we’re not talking about “Mirror Image” here (the legendarily confusing finale to the TV series Quantum Leap). Instead, I’ll be as succinct as possible:

The Good Stuff:

  • The death of Kai Winn.
  • The kick-ass battle scenes.
  • Kai Winn’s unfortunate demise.
  • Garak’s revenge on Weyoun.
  • Barbecued Kai.
  • Nog’s promotion.
  • Pah Wraiths 1, Kai Winn 0
  • Kira’s ironic role in the liberation of Cardassia.
  • Kai Winn all gone.
  • Ezri’s nearly exposed breasts.
  • Bye bye Kai.
  • Sisko plowing Dukat over the cliff’s edge in a flying tackle.
  • The old bag bites it.
  • Martok’s self-satisfied belt of blood wine while standing on bloated enemy corpses.
  • She’ll finally shut up.
  • The faint hope that once O’Brien accepts a teaching position at the academy, he’ll attain some kind of rank (Where does “Chief” fall, anyway? As far as I can tell, it’s somewhere between ensign and lieutenant. So Nog outranks him now? Not a proud legacy for more than a decade in uniform…).
  • Winn-kabob.
  • Damar’s last stand.
  • Burn Winnie burn.
  • Worf’s new-found honor and influence with the Klingon council.
  • Are those Kai burgers I smell?
  • Bashir finally gets some.
  • Armagedd-Winn.

The Bad Stuff:

  • Vic Fontaine’s schmaltzy send-off.
  • A too-short stand-off between Dukat and Sisko that smacked of the
  • Kirk/Mitchell showdown in “Where No Man has Gone Before” (“Get on your knees and pray to me, James”).
  • A tuxedo-clad Odo melting into the Great Link.
  • The use of stock footage of a Klingon getting blown down a corridor on a wave of fire (from The Undiscovered Country, I think).
  • Worf’s flashback sequence that held not a smidgen of Jadzia memories. (I guess Paramount didn’t want to have to pay residuals to Terry Farrell.)

 

As you can see, the good clearly outweighed the bad. I think the very best thing about the episode, and the series over all, was that I could never tell exactly how things would turn out. And even when I did have a pretty good idea of where things were going, the characters would reach their destinations via completely unexpected routes.

This rule holds true for the future of Deep Space Nine. It’s a foregone conclusion that Sisko will come back. Just watch; he’ll soon get tired of playing pinochle with Wesley on the astral plain and shuffle back into his mortal coil for a return to his old life. But to what effect? Will he be considered a lord on Bajor? Will his new found Prophet wisdom cause a rift between him and his all-too-human friends and family? Will he have hair? I can’t even guess at the possibilities.

Of course, we’re most likely to be hearing from Worf the soonest. I just hope the powers that be use the opportunity they’ve created to full effect in the next movie. Worf’s position as Federation ambassador to Qo’noS lends itself to a sweeping story that could encompass the Federation and Klingon Empire and propel the franchise forward, something it sorely needs after the disaster that was Insurrection.

The one thing I do not want to see is a feature length film that combines the Next Gen and DS9 casts. The writers have a tough enough time as it is finding useful roles for the entire Enterprise-E ensemble with each outing. If they tried to add the DS9 crew as well, the screen would be packed tighter than Seven of Nine’s Wonder Bra, but with a far less marvelous result. I’ll pin my hopes on a small-screen reunion that will give the DS9 characters and plot lines free reign.

In the meantime, I guess I still have Voyager to give me my Star Trek fix, though it’ll be like going from heroin to methadone. Now that the DS9 writers are freed up, maybe they can help put Voyager on the right track and raise it to the standards we’ve come expect from Star Trek. But I’m not gonna hold my breath. I don’t have to anyway.

When DS9 premiered, I still had a maniacal hatred of new Trek. I wasn’t sucked over the Next Gen event horizon until Generations hit the theaters. And by the time I got into DS9, it was well into its run. So I ask you to pray with me now that channel 11 in NY soon starts rerunning the series from the beginning. There are three years worth of episodes I’ve never seen. It’s a little something extra to look forward to.

See Pop? Sometimes it works to your benefit to be a day late and a dollar short…

DS9 Stories/News: Of Trek and War (2)

Cont.

While the story arc itself had its problems and the series as a whole did have its flaws (overuse of the Ferengi as comic relief, a very weak seventh season with a rushed finish, poor to non-existent exit strategy for the Dominion War story arc, etc), I think the Dominion War worked overall and helped define Deep Space Nine as a series, for better or worse.

Dominion War

Dominion War

By contrast, the Xindi storyline in Enterprise was a good idea that was not as well executed as the Dominion War… but that describes many of the ideas Berman & Braga have come up with over the years. To begin with, the concept itself was really a clone of the Dominion War done to drive up Enterprise’s lackluster Nielson ratings. Created as a prequel by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga (both of whom had lost their touch by then, in my not-so-humble opinion), Enterprise wasn’t doing very well as a series. This was largely due to poor stories that either lacked internal continuity (on an episode-by-episode basis) or pissed all over established continuity for either the series or the franchise (by either introducing certain concepts from TNG way too soon in the timeline or by introducing potentially major threats to Earth in one episode, then completely ignoring them and the story-telling opportunities they could have raised in later episodes by never mentioning them again and zooming off to some other would-be threat). Remembering the brief viewer increase caused by the Dominion War in DS9, Berman & Braga decided to bring their own war into Enterprise with the Xindi.

Xindi Weird Stuff

Xindi Weird Stuff

Xindi Weird Stuff

Xindi Weird Stuff

While that might have been a good idea, the concept suffered problems from the start. To begin with, the entire Xindi arc wasn’t its own story; rather, it was just one season-long subset of a larger conflict that was shown, but never explained in the series: namely, the Temporal Cold War. No real details were ever given as to what the nature of the Temporal Cold War really was (a cold war across time itself, we assume?) or who first started it. We know some of the factions, but not all, nor do we truly understand their motives, beyond the old “Saturday morning cartoon villain” m.o. of “destroy the Federation!” that gets so cliché. Like many concepts from Berman & Braga, it was a great concept poorly executed and given little true depth. We saw precious little of this concept in Enterprise (aside from the occasional Suliban episode or the odd appearance by either “Future Guy” or Daniels, none of whom give nearly enough exposition), and what we did see was rather lackluster. Originally, this concept was expressed through a rather poorly-conceived race called the Suliban (which, guessing by their name, I assume were supposed to be some sort of heavily veiled parody of the Taliban?), though that didn’t quite pan out the way Berman & Braga hoped. With more viewers slipping away, they rushed the Xindi storyline into production.

Again, it began with a great concept: some faction in the Temporal Cold War called the Sphere Builders (really, you couldn’t give them a better name than that?) attempted an invasion of the Federation in the 26th Century, but the Federation repelled them. Instead of retaliating in that era, the Sphere Builders attempted to prevent the founding of the Federation. (As time travel expert M.J. Young would attest to on his website about temporal anomalies, such a notion has its own problems, but Star Trek has always played rather fast and loose with the concept of time travel, anyway.) To do this, they provided the Xindi with trumped-up evidence that the Federation would one day cause the destruction of their homeworld. (So, they’re fighting a war over something that hasn’t happened yet based on evidence “from the future” that could easily be manufactured? We can manufacture war photos using Photoshop right now. What kind of photo/video/hologram-doctoring technology would they have in the 22nd Century? Surely the Xindi thought of that!) This managed to get the Xindi moving in high gear, and they initiated a conflict against humanity – the Federation’s major founding member – by attacking Earth in “The Expanse“, Enterprise’s Season 3 opener. Enterprise gets recalled from its mission of exploration (which, I’m sorry to say, really hadn’t been going very well, as the crew of Enterprise either nearly got their ship destroyed each episode or spent as much time as they could pissing off the Vulcans, who – for whatever reason – were written to be colossal uptight assholes during the series) and assigned to head for a massive area of space called the Delphic Expanse in search of the Xindi’s homeworld. Once there, they would either parlay with the Xindi’s leaders and try for peace, or kick their asses and come back home victorious.

This war lasted all of one season (when has an actual war ever lasted only one year? Hell, Voyager took seven damn years to cross the Delta Quadrant – a feat they only barely accomplished by cheating several times via numerous space/time “shortcuts” – and the NX-01 Enterprise, which is technologically inferior to even the [/i]shuttlecraft[/i] of Kirk’s day, was able to cross this vast expanse of space in one year and return home in less time than that??). Some of the Xindi sided with our heroes; the others said, “Fuck it!” and launched a superweapon at Earth, which our heroes then had to stop in the Season 3 finale “Zero Hour“. Since the producers weren’t quite certain if Enterprise would return for Season 4 or not, they tried to bring all the major plot threads they had woven into the series (what few plot threads they actually bothered with, like the switch from a potential Archer/T’Pol pairing to a much more intriguing T’Pol/Tucker match)… Then they completely threw a giant WTF into it by ending the episode on a shot of an alien in a Nazi uniform. (I kid you not! Click the damn link and see for yourselves already!)

To be honest, Enterprise as a series bored me to tears (except for the occasionally interesting or even good episode, like “Regeneration“), and the Xindi storyline – while offering a few intriguing tidbits here and there (like ““) – was something I was rather blasé about altogether. To start with, I had grown weary of the emotional highs and lows of the Dominion War, so another war in an entirely different Trek series – especially when that war wasn’t the Earth-Romulan War we had been promised so many times – just didn’t hold as much appeal to me. I had just come to terms with the ending of Voyager (good or bad), and I wasn’t quite ready to commit to Enterprise the same way I had for TNG, DS9 and Voyager. Moreover, I had just started watching a different Roddenberry-based series – Andromeda – and had grown quite fond of it. The episodes I had seen of the Xindi war were very reminiscent of both the good and bad aspects of the Dominion War with a few interesting (and many not so interesting) twists. The writing, unfortunately, was still done by Berman & Braga (way past their prime, if you ask me) and the characters were still as… well, dull as they had been since series launch.

In Season 4, they left it to new Enterprise scribe Manny Coto – Brannon’s & Braga’s replacement, as they were refraining from writing duties (yay!) – to finish out the faux cliffhanger they created with the silly Season 3 finale “space Nazi” end scene. This he did in the two-part “Storm Front“, which explained how aliens had gone back in time and aided Nazi Germany, changing the timeline and enslaving America, and how our heroes had wound up back in the 1940s and blah blah blah… Normally, I enjoy alternate histories, but these two episodes stretched the concept beyond credibility.

After this horrid start, Manny Coto gave us a kick-ass final season of Enterprise, as (unlike Berman & Braga) he actually had a little something called talent. By then, however, the damage to the series had been done by Berman & Braga, and not even the Xindi conflict or the talented Manny Coto’s intriguing fan-wank scripts loaded with awesome original series references could save it. Enterprise was cancelled. The Earth-Romulan War plot they kept promising us and building up to? Never happened. As interesting as portions of the Xindi conflict were, maybe they could have focused on the Earth-Romulan War instead? *sigh*

To sum: Dominion War good, Xindi War so-so.

Anyway, that’s my two cents on the issue. Apologies for both the length of the post and the time which I posted it. (I hadn’t gotten to see my sister on her birthday, so I was taking her around town last night to make up for it.) What’s your take on the whole mess?